Posts Tagged ‘healing’

Body Constellations

I have been a chiropractor for over 20 years and know how muscles feel when they are stressed and under trauma. I know how they feel when there is a sports injury. I know how the abdominal muscles feel when there is spasm and gas. I know how the chest muscles feel when there is congestion. I know how the lower back muscles feel when there is a muscle strain, etc.

There is a certain feel to the muscles when one is feeling an emotional trauma too. This particular muscular situation has a very specific sensation. The symptoms one may be feeling in this regard vary, including losing feeling in one’s hands, wrist pain, chest pain, hand pain, lower back pain, swelling in the legs, hips and abdomen, shoulder pain and more. In other words, the symptoms can seem like many other conditions and, in fact, can occur simultaneously with another condition. However, what IS consistent is the feel of the muscles involved. They feel bunched…touchy… sensitive…slightly swollen…and there is usually a highly charged feel to them for the client suffering from the trauma.

Usually, the client isn’t able to relate the trauma they are experiencing to the “trigger” event. Often, they don’t even know that is what is happening. They just know that the pain and discomfort is often unbearable and even scary at times. When I ask them questions regarding their symptoms, they can tell me about when they started, and they can describe and locate the pain for me. What they often aren’t able to do is to pinpoint the emotional trigger associated with the actual physical event(s). They don’t usually even think of an emotional trigger as a possibility in their particular situation until I bring up the possibility.

I bring up the possibility only when the muscles have that specific feel I was describing: bunchy, touchy, sensitive, inflamed, and even unresponsive to usual treatment procedures.  Only then do I bring up the subject of a possible event or words spoken that could be a trigger to an older, unfinished, traumatic event for the client. This can be in their life time as well as a response to unconscious reactions to unresolved trauma in their ancestor’s lives.

On this past Christmas Eve, I got a phone call from my father that there was a problem. My sister was having symptoms that to her resembled a heart attack. My husband and I picked up my father, and we all went over to her house. She was having chest pain, and experiencing pain down her right arm. However, she also was panting in a panic type of breathing, and her neck was very tight and full of spasms. I asked her what happened, and she didn’t know. So, I asked her if she can remember any occasion during the day in which she was pulled, or she bent down and twisted her back in a certain way, or she was lifting something while she turned to look at something, or anything such as that.

She then remembered that she and her son were at the Botanical Garden and he had pulled on her arm just prior to her chest pain, and that she also was experiencing radiating pain into her left ring and middle finger. This fact explained the neck spasms I had felt and then I knew that she had probably pulled her neck muscles, and possibly a muscle in her shoulder, and then she also became panic stricken. She was having a panic attack along with a slight to moderate muscle injury. Her son is very strong.

With her permission, I began to massage her neck and her chest muscles, and to adjust her wrist, elbow, shoulder and neck. Everything was able to re-align after I had worked with her muscles enough for them to release a bit. I could also tell that her chest muscles, neck muscles and possibly an arm muscle were getting ready to spasm again, and noticed her shallow breathing, and the fear in her eyes. I sat in front of her, held her hands, had her look in my eyes, and told her that she wasn’t having a heart attack, and saw her begin to relax and take a deeper breath. Almost as soon as this occurred, she started to get a vague look in her eyes, breathe shallowly and keep breathing out, and told me she was feeling like she was going to pass out and that she was getting sore again.

For the next hour I, along with my father who was watching and helping with talking with her, and with helping her to accept herself, and myself doing the same with different words, we helped her to be back in her body. She still cycled from relaxation and relief to fear and anxiety and wanting to pass out, but she was more often with us and in a state of body awareness than not. I told her to hold a ball (which she could feel and squeeze) in her left hand, which represented the part of her who knew what was going on and who told herself that she was an idiot, and another ball in her right hand that she could also squeeze , which represented her little girl and scared little self.  I then had her cross the balls across her chest as she hugged them (and herself) against her body. This gave her something to actively do and focus on, and helped her to stay in her body and present experience.

We were then able to leave her for the night, knowing she could phone us if she got in trouble again that night. She was reliving two very old traumas in her life. The trigger that day was the sudden pain, and the not knowing what happened or what was going on. That pain revived old memories that were living in her as if they were happening in the here and now. As we spoke about them while I worked with her body, she was able to gain a greater understanding of what was going on, and that those old traumas still had some life in them that were not totally healed or resolved inside of her. In truth, they may not ever be totally resolved but, each time they occur, there is less intensity and more understanding in her whole being.

While I was working with her, her six year old son came up behind me and put his arms around me as if to thank me. I told him his mom was okay now, and that he was okay. too, and that if something like this ever happens again, we will be there and be able to take care of him. His relief was palpable.

In the week since that occurred, I have treated five other people who were experiencing a traumatic trigger in their bodies, and I was able to help them gain a greater understanding of what was happening, as well as help their bodies integrate their new understandings so that their bodies and minds could work together in a more conscious way, and they could know how to work through it themselves, if and when it happens again.

When this occurs, there are symptoms common to every patient; their muscles bunch, get touchy and sensitive, and become unresponsive to traditional treatment. When their muscles and bodies are spoken to, along with the minds and consciousness of the patient, and important truths are spoken, with the identification of the present trigger, and the understanding of the original trigger, a great relief is experienced throughout their total being.

Sometimes this also becomes an entry point into a family constellation in which their blind loyalties to themselves and their family members become seen and understood, and new insights are gained that can change this pattern of pain for the better.

In cases as these, the work we do together I call Body Constellations. Often, the cycles of pain and anxiety are forever broken.

This type of work is very specialized and very powerful. So to break these cycles of pain, anxiety, and chronic pain, a body constellation is often very effective.

I make these sessions available to anyone, and am happy to offer even packages to those who need more than one session, and/or come in from out of town for a very intense, specialized day’s work, or even working two or three days in a row, in the case of those coming in from out of town.

Overcoming physical trauma can be done, and I am always honored by the opportunity to be a small part of the healing process, and awed by the results.

Sometimes the actual one-on-one, hands-on process can be followed up by phone consultations, once the original trauma and triggers are more fully understood and the physical connections are addressed.

Here is to the New Year, and to helping your physical and whole beings soar!

If you would like to know more about body constellations, visit HERE.

What Do You Do When You Don’t Like Your Family?

Recently, I met with a client who has lots of trouble with her family. She frequently feels a heaviness in her chest…a great sadness.  She also has trouble in her marriage, is already on her third marriage, and is finding it hard to be independent and successful in life.

Where does all this come from?

When we look at both sides of her family, there is great sadness.  Her maternal grandmother lost her mother at 9 or 10, and then was sent by her father to live with a distant aunt.  My client recalls this grandmother as a woman who is laughing all the time; even inappropriately.  My client’s mother is sad and lonely and distant with her daughter.

The client’s father is the oldest of two live children, and about the 4th or 5th of siblings, with twins dying young, and a few miscarriages in between.  Dad became overly close to his mother and she could do no wrong in his eyes.  He was a mommy’s boy and not really fully available to anyone else.  His mom was very sad.

What was beautiful was that this woman, my client, saw the sadness, and also saw and KNEW that much of this wasn’t really hers.  Here she had spent most of her life feeling sad and lonely.  By the way, I forgot to mention that she is also too close to her dad, and is a daddy’s girl.

She looked at all the sadness before her and behind her, and the distance and sadness in her mother and in both grandmothers and she knew that was what she was feeling.

Yet, this family IS hers.  If she gets too close to all this sadness, she feels it and takes it in, and she has spent much of her life trying to stay away from it.  Instead, she saw that by getting close enough to the sadness to see it, she realized that it was theirs, and not hers.  She could leave it with them.  When she stayed away from it, she felt it the most.  The distance she was away from the pain was the distance she was from herself and others.

So what do you do when you don’t like your family?  You get closer.

Until next time.  I hope this timely post helps you all through the holidays!

With abundant care,
Gail

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

I just finished facilitating a workshop this past weekend and was so moved by how much love was in the room, and how we, as individuals, love so deeply even when we may not know we are doing so. What I mean by that is that sometimes we love a family member by being mad at them or rejecting them, or by carrying anxiety just like their uncle, or by feeling unloved and left just like their grandmother. I know this is a different way of looking at love; but it is oh so powerful!

There was a woman who felt like she just didn’t know who she was; she felt ungrounded in herself and didn’t know why. Even looking at her body language, she was always with one or both legs folded underneath her; not feeling the ground beneath her.

She was loving her namesake, her grandmother, by feeling left out, unloved and unsure of herself…just like her grandmother.

There was a woman who was moved to tears by seeing the trauma and fear, and urge to die that her mother felt when she was growing up. This was an image she didn’t carry of her mother before.

Not only do we blindly carry love for our family members by how we may be feeling, but we also see the power of love to heal past traumas. When the flow of love is open, there is so much possible, and so much hope.

Here is hoping we all have a loving Thanksgiving and find a new way for love to flow in ourselves and in our families,

The Best To You All,
Gail

What If You Can’t Attain Reconciliation?

I have a workshop coming up here in St. Louis on the 13th of this month. This workshop focuses on trauma and its effects on us. Actually it also encompasses reconciliation, and the power that gives us.   But sometimes something happens and there can be no reconciliation. What then?

This can happen when there is a loss of a great love, or when the rift between child and parent is too great, or when there has been a great injustice done to you or a family member. So, what do you do?  I was just with a client today and I was doing what I call a body constellation with her. Her shoulder and chest were very tight and sore and she had some reduced motion in her arm. First of all, I told her that this area of her body often represents love and heart issues. She told me that she always felt she didn’t get enough and carries weight and food issues. She can’t tell when she has had enough to eat. She just stops when she thinks she has had enough. She quickly jumped to the question, what can she do about it? Her mother never was able to give her enough and that doesn’t change. I told her yes, and can she just be with those feelings? Instead of jumping quickly into an outward action, can she take the inward, gentle, “being with her feelings” action?

Yes, she was able to and tears came to her eyes, and I felt her chest and arm soften beneath my hands.

Sometimes that is all we have to do: to acknowledge our pain and our truth. Does it change the past? Does it help to feel in your body, and to just know that what happened was the truth and that it still lives in you?  I then took her to a birth experience where she remembered how it felt to be held as an infant. I worked with her body to remember how it was, as I simultaneously gave her a new experience where she was held softly, gently and yet firmly, and felt safe.

Here, the healing moment is in recognizing the truth, and just saying to herself (and to her mother in her mind and heart), that was the way it was, and it couldn’t be different. You did the best you could do at the time, and so did I. The reconciliation was in the body work that gave her a new experience to take forward…still carrying and honoring what was.  I guess you could say this was more of an agreement and acceptance than reconciliation.

Sometimes that is all we can do, and it is enough.

I welcome your stories and experiences. Please feel free to share.

Until next time,
Gail